Welcome to another chapter of the Byrds! Last time Brad was wondering if smearing chicken grease on his body and dancing naked under the full moon would help get him re-elected, and Albatross became a humanoid typhoon. Cole was using her influence to help Brad plan to sabotage the next Pick Pork rally, and Akikiki joined the family. We ended with a dire prediction of doom from an Egyptian daylight wandering ghost, and Cole figuring out how many hot dogs she could stuff into her mouth at once.
Six appears to be the magic number in case anyone was wondering.
This time we begin with an Ode to the Skilling Meter.
Oh skilling plumbob
How we love thee.
You signal progress
though it go slowly.
Our only request
is that you fill quickly
before we go crazy.
Yeah, so I never said I was an outstanding poet. But what is this particular meter attached to? Akikiki, learning how to go potty.
Try not to burst a corpuscle with your excitement.
Brad: Can't she pee any faster? I'm collecting lint while I'm standing here.
Due to his popularity as the main political candidate for the Peace and Chicken Grease movement, Brad often gets invited to parties. This time he is attending an event at the Goth mansion.
A party at the Goths, to which the Goths never actually appeared. So, Brad aged into an adult by himself, and then returned to the extremely dull party.
Brad: Go me! Who thought I would have survived thus far?
Certainly not me.
The other attendee to the party was Jeff Fizzle, who spent most of his time getting his groove on in the bathroom.
Jeff: I'm too sexy for this tile, too sexy for this tile.
Jeff: *YAWN* Well, that was invigorating. I think I'll go to bed. I'm sure the party can rock on without me.
At this point, I don't think a bolt of lightening would jump start this party. Where is a meteor when you need one?
Akikiki is cute, but not the sharpest toddler on the block.
Cole: Brad my dumpling? Bring the limo round, would you? I think our youngest has the mallet of the xylophone stuck in her eye.
Aki: WAAAHHH! It won't come out!
Cole: (shouting) Stop pulling on it Aki. You might pull out your whole eyeball!
Her older brother Albatross is a smart fellow, but he's been brain washed by his Dad.
Alba: What is the moon made of? Is this teacher a simpleton? Everyone knows the moon is nothing more than a big ball of high-gloss congealed chicken grease.
To be honest, I'm amazed he gets good grades.
Meanwhile, Cole takes to eduating the young in her own philosophy.
Cole: Ok pumpkin, repeat after me: Criminals are better clean!
Cole: That's my girl!
Cole: I wonder if that was too much information to give my darling girl at such a young age. But then again, if I don't teach my own children that criminals can be good, then who will?
Cole promptly went off to work, and then went straight to jail, without passing Go or collecting 200 dollars.
The police let her sit in the front seat and work the siren.
So tell the readers, Cole, how you spent your time in the klink.
Cole: I taught a knitting class to the other inmates. We made baby booties to donate to the local hospital. Minion Fingers was especially good with the small stitches. He said that spending years working with lockpicks has given him great agility with his hands.
Cole: And the next time I get caught, the police said they would allow me to lead the fellow inmates in working on a community garden. Isn't that wonderful? Giving back to the community from which we take is the only way to be a proper criminal.
Brad: Whew, all these parties and public appearances are starting to take a toll on my skin. Perhaps I should get a facial. Appearances are everything in politics, after all.
Despite conflicting schedules (he works during the day, she works at night), Brad and Cole still manage to make time for one another.
Minion Drudge: Oh wow! Are you two going to woohoo right now? Can I watch?
Alba: What was that squelching noise, Mom? And have you seen Minion Drudge? She was supposed to make my bed and never did.
Cole: Never you mind, Alba. Minion Drudge has been found to be unsatisfactory and has been terminated.
Alba: Terminated? Mom! You didn't! You say criminals have to be good!
Cole: What are you going on about, sweetheart? I just sent Minion Drudge to go work for the Leader. We paid her a handsome severance package and everything.
Alba: Oh. Then what was that squelching noise?
Cole: Your father. He mistook Colon Blow for his multi-vitamin.
Cole: You asked, dearheart.
Alba: Zzzzz Must be good Zzzzz Don't wanna be given away Zzzzz to Leader Zzzz
Aww, sweetie. I don't think you need to worry about that.
Cole: So Honey Bunny, how goes the fundraising for the campaign?
Brad: It is going great, Pumpkin! We made lots of money selling the Leader's Evil Fried Chicken at the last rally. And, I've got something else up my sleeve that should bring in even more.
Political front-runner Bradley Byrd surprised fellow 'Peace and Chicken Grease' supporters by making an unscheduled appearance at a fundraiser on the beach last night. The supporters served fried chicken so good that many people were calling it evil.
After dinner, Byrd made an unexpected move when he stripped down, rubbed the chicken grease all over his body, and went streaking down the beach by the light of the full moon.
Reactions among the crowd were mixed; some hurried to copy his example and tore naked down the beach after him. Other people covered their eyes in horror, while still others openly stared at the spectacle. One elderly woman accosted a streaker and began smacking him with her purse.
It is unknown the effect this action will have on Byrd's political career in Sunset Valley, but it should be noted that sales of pitchforks and torches at the local hardware store have spiked.
Alba: Alright Dad!
While the residents of Sunset Valley mull over the events of last night, we will be attending a party.
Ashton: I can't believe we were asked to wear clothes to this party. After the exhiliration of running free on the beach last night, wearing clothes feels so inhibiting.
Geobe: My gentleman senses are tingling! There is a woman in distress!
Polly! What has you so upset?
Polly: It's horrible! I missed the rally last night!
Wipe your eyes dear. Perhaps you can talk Brad into holding another one. Besides, this is supposed to be a happy occasion!
GypsyKate: Brad looks different with his clothes on.
Old Woman Whose Name I Can't Remember: I can't believe you had the gall to show your face here, Bessie. Though I guess I should be grateful that is all you're showing!
Bessie: Stuff it in your girdle. The body is a work of art and nothing to be embarrassed about.
Brad and Alba: *wonder if there is about to be a cat fight.
Cole: Excuse me, but can you get off my leg?
Ashton: Boo! Brad didn't make this a naked party!
Alba: Dude, do you mind? I'm about to transition.
Unfortunately most of the attendees were more interested in the growing hostility between the two old women. Bad Sim!Garg!
Garg: Whatever. You've seen one transition, you've seen them all. But violence between two old ladies is not something you get every day.
The party promptly dissolved into two factions. Those who stayed to watch Albatross transition into a teenager, and those who moved to the living room to see if a fight was about to break out.
I find it interesting that my honey chose to stay for the party, while Sim!Garg wanted to see blood.
Geobe: What? I love birthday parties.
Cole: Alright son!
Kid we will call Stinky: Haha, I'll bet you get zits.
In the living room, Flo Progressive managed to cool down the situation by playing the guitar.
Flo: Music soothes the savage beast.
Garg tapping her foot: It's true!
And back in the kitchen we have...
Alba: Hey ladies, how you doin'?
Brad: He's...he's a mini-me!
Yeah, I noticed.
The birthday cake was served and Geobe snatched the guitar the moment Flo put it down. Geobe has no skills with the guitar.
Julie: He's not that bad.
Yeah, he is.
Polly: Someone here is a llama.
Some unimportant teen: She's trying to sneak up on me, isn't she?
Nope. She has someone else in mind.
Polly: I love sneaking up on llamas.
Julie: What's she doing? Is she going to scare GypsyKate?
GypsyKate: Wow. He plays so badly, but for some reason I can't turn away.
Brad: Oh, be still my heart. Polly really got me that time.
GypsyKate: Haha, sucker.
Garg: Yeah, you have fun at your party, Brad. I'm going to be a stick-in-the-mud and sit here and read. K?
I have to hand it to Polly. She is now officially the best long-distance scarer in the hood. She can even scare through other people. Awesome!
Polly: You bet, baby. I am number one.
GypsyKate: I'm next on her list, aren't I?
The party was epic, despite the lack of nudity.
Cole: Alright! We rock!
I can agree with that.
As a reminder, Alba's lifetime wish is to become a Hit Movie Composer, so when he made a beeline for the guitar, I let him. Even with no musical points he's still better than Geobe.
Whereas Aki's job these days is to kill me slowly with cuteness.
See? I think she's doing it on purpose.
The life of the Byrds is not a total picture of domestic bliss, however.
Cole: I'll show that old biddy! How dare she and her gaggle of geriatric hags show up on my doorstep wielding canes and pitchforks! All because Brad did a bit of streaking! The next time they show up, I'll be ready.
Sim Fu Minion: I heard they were calling themselves PRUDE and are led by some unhappy spinster named Crumplebottom. They claim they are the protectors of public virtue and intend to run you and your chicken lovin' family out of town.
Cole: So, the question becomes do we want to leave, or...
Cole: ...stay and fight?
Turns out the decision was made for them.
Cole: Honey, we've got to talk.
Alba: So let me be sure I've got this straight, Dad. The Leader told Mom that the head of the guild in the next town over was lax in his security and sat on an explosive whoopee cushion?
Brad: That's what she said. Apparently they are still picking up the pieces...literally.
Alba: So if we move, then Mom can have the job?
Brad: That is exactly it, son. If it wasn't your Mom's lifetime wish we could turn it down, but this is her heart's desire and as a family we should want to see that she achieves it.
Alba: But what about you, Dad? What about Peace and Chicken Grease?
Brad: Turns out that their El Presidente was taken out in a severe toilet malfunction the very next day.
Alba: So we will still spread the message?
Brad: Always, son.
So the Byrds packed up and moved to Volcano Cove. This is a custom hood created by Locatus, and I love it! Truth be told, I was starting to get too many hang ups and glitches in Sunset Valley, so I thought it was best to start fresh. And I do mean fresh.
Before the Byrds moved in, the population in Volcano Cove was a whopping ZERO people. Which gives me plenty of room to add whomever I want.
First I added all the simselves from my bin to the hood, which means that they all get to start over with a clean slate. Only the Byrds were moved at their current point in time. I'm sure that breaks all kinds of Doctor Whovian laws of time travel, but we will just have to deal.
Secondly, I've slowly starting importing some of my favorite Legacy characters and their creators into the hood. I'll be adding more as we move along. Thus far I've got Deviouslyvivid and her Boudreauxs (and if you want good-looking babes be sure to add them), Mariah and her Chimerees, and Starla and her Creepers.
The house you see is one prebuilt into the world by Locatus, and it is an upgrade from the house last occupied by the Byrds.
But first we've got important business to attend to.
Brad: There you go, my little snickerdoodle. Let's blow out your candle!
Aki: Can we hurry this up? I've got to update my Simbook profile and start working on hacking the Pick Pork website. I'm going to put up a picture of a bucket of fried chicken over their cutesy pig.
Aki is now a computer whiz.
Aki: Yeah, yeah, I'm sure they are all thrilled.
Though I'm surprised it isn't grumpy, or at the very least, sarcastic.
Brad: What are you reading, Alba?
Alba: A history book on Volcano Cove. Did you know that this city was originally founded in the 60's by a group of nudists? It says that the original colonists were all destroyed when a Renyu Senso-Orb exploded and converted them all to grilled cheese zombies, but the remaining families still hold many of same values and traditions.
Aki: Great. Just what I want to see, lots of old people with saggy bits flapping in the breeze.
Aki: I talked to my teacher, Dad. She said you are welcome to come and speak to the class about Peace and Chicken Grease anytime you want. Just don't embarrass me, OK.
Brad: I wonder if I should do my speech in the buff.
Aki: Dad! I said NOT to embarrass me.
Brad didn't waste any time exploring the new city and hitting up the locals for campaign donations. Unfortunately, I think he forgot about all about the Doctor Whovian time displacement of everyone that wasn't a Byrd.
Brad: Hey, I know you! How are you doing, Gypsy?
GypsyKate: Um, I've never met you before in my life.
Brad: Really? But you look identical to a friend of mine in Sunset Valley. Perhaps you have a twin?
GypsyKate: I'm sorry, but I don't have a twin, and I have no clue what you are talking about.
Brad: Son of a biscuit eater! That's right, I forgot. Sis explained to me about how everyone is new and shiny and stuff.
GypsyKate: Did you escape from a mental institution or something?
Brad: (laughing) Of course not! I'm the new El Presidente. Say, how do you feel about Peace and Chicken Grease?
Cole begins to make her own mark on the town as well.
Cole: I've taken out the trash in this town and established my place as the Empress of Evil. From now on, criminals in this city have to abide by my rules.
Yes ma'am. *Salute*
And to celebrate, Cole went out on the town...to check out the local laundromat.
Cole: Oh, I like this part. This is when the bunnies return home to their mother.
The local constabulary was swift to take notice of the new Leader in town.
Cop: Mrs. Byrd? Will you please come with us?
She climbed into the vehicle only to find that no one was driving. Apparently law enforcement in Volcano Cove is considerably more advanced than in Sunset Valley.
Cole: You...you want me to ride in the front seat?
RoboCop Car: Oh yes. The SVPD called us and let us know what a helpful criminal you are, and we just want to let you know how excited we are that you've taken the reigns of the underworld in Volcano Cove.
Cole: (blushing) Oh, thank you. I'm glad to be here. *giggle* Can I work the siren?
RoboCop Car: Of course.
Brad: Wish I hadn't given my camera to Alba. I'd get pictures of this pregnant woman drinking and turn it over to my wife. She'd handle it.
Lisette: Barkeep! Give me 'nother one! *hic*
This is Lisette Boudreaux. If you put her in your game be forewarned - she is a baby factory. I don't think she's happy if she isn't knocked up.
Brad: For shame you devil-woman! Drinking while pregnant? You should be arrested!
Lisette: *hic* If you think those robot cops would use hand cuffs, then by all means call 'em! *hic* I've always wanted to give birth to a baby robot.
Alba: So Aki, how did Dad's Peace and Chicken Grease lecture go at your school?
Aki: It was alright I suppose. My classmates were interested, but I didn't like the way the teacher was looking at Dad when he instructed the class on how to use chicken grease in ritualistic ceremonies.
Alba: Really? What sort of look was it?
Aki: Like she thought Dad was finger lickin' good.
Alba: So Dad has her vote?
Aki: Yeah. And I truly hope that's all he has.
Even Garg and Geobe got a new start in the hood.
Brad: Hey Sis. What ya doin'?
Garg: Geobe has to go to some fancy political party to help raise funds for the Peace and Chicken Grease movement. I get to be arm candy.
Brad: Well let me run home and change, and I'll come with. I'm always willing to help spread our message.
Garg: Sure, but before you go, I just want to say how proud I am of you planting the Byrd flag in Volcano Cove.
Brad: Awww, sis!
Garg: But you should keep your eyes peeled for Deviouslyvivid. I don't think she knows your new address, but once she finds out I'm sure she will start peeping in your windows again. For some reason she's attracted to you like a moth to a flame.
Brad: Already ahead of you sis. Cole's been keeping an eye out, and has laid some booby traps around the perimeter.
Cole: No Devil Woman is getting past my security.
Wow. That outfit makes you look like you mean business, Cole.
Cole: That's because I do. With sprinkles on top!
Along the way the Byrds have picked up a magic gnome. His name is Flatulence.
Flat: Target has been sighted. One large barking spider should propel me right into his legs. Three...Two...One!
Brad: *sniff* Nice one Flat!
Flat: Dang it. Need more power next time.
And we will close this chapter with a picture illustrating what happens when your sim couple both have baby wish spam and you leave them alone for a few minutes with Twallan's Woohooer installed.
Cole: Hello little nooboo. I can't wait to meet you.
What will this nooboo look like? Will Aki manage to insult her way through the entire town of Volcano Cove? Is Flatulence stupid enough to let loose a barking spider near a propane tank? Will the members of PRUDE follow the Byrds to the neighborhood? And will our teenaged Alba find love? Guess you will have to join me for the next chapter to find out.
Until then, happy simming!