Welcome back to the Byrds, birthplace of the Peace and Chicken Grease movement. This political philosophy is proving to be more popular than the campaign started several years ago when a little old lady peered into her hamburger bun and demanded to know Where's the beef?

Last time Bittern aged into a toddler, and Tabitha gave birth to Budgie, the twin that is not a twin. Tabitha still has her fake baby bump, and Buzz learned to drive...sorta. The lame Lagasse plot was revealed to involve Gnubb, Sim!Neder died, and we learned that Grim is a fan of Brad's and that the Peace and Chicken Grease movement is popular in the underworld.

Brady: We jam so well together, Alba. Are you sure you don't want to start a band?

Alba: I'm sure.

Brady: We could totally call ourselves Byrds of a Feather. It would rock!

Alba: Leave it alone, Brady. The Handler is saving the band thing for one of us who rolls a lifetime wish. It ain't happening, dude.

Since Tabitha is insisting on sporting the baby bump, I gave her a small makeover, mainly because I got tired of the shorts with high heels combination.

BJ: Mom, those clothes look really motherly. Are you sure that's what you want to wear?

Tabitha: I don't have much choice, Snickerdoodle.

No, you certainly don't.

Tabitha: Akepa, I know you keep up with all the latest conspiracy theories. Have you heard of one regarding the planet Borax?

Tabitha: Because I'm starting to think that this isn't a pregnancy bump at all. In fact, I think aliens from the planet Borax snuck into our house in the middle of the night and implanted one of their seed pods in my womb.

Akepa: Oh no! I know BJ was worried about being probulated, so we took precautions where he was concerned, but we did nothing to protect the rest of the family! What if we've all been implanted with alien seed pods?

Great going Tabitha. Now Akepa will be freaking out for days.

Brad: Oh, Cole. It is heartbreaking how my bestest friend Neder just keeled over in the sand. I just don't know how I can possibly go on!

Cole: You've got 25 more bestest friends, Brad. Suck it up and go to work.

Sim!Julie: Candi, I can't believe you switched sides. And Brad is one of your bestest friends! What do you think he'll do when he sees you openly supporting the enemy?

Sim!Candi: You're one to talk. I'm not the one carrying Lagasse's baby. What? Did you think the Pick Pork champion would marry you? That'll never happen.

Julie: I took the best offer I could get. It wasn't like there was an available Byrd after all.

Sadly, this dispute did not end in violence. Maybe next time.

Heather: Buzz! Help me! There is a crazy vampire hunter chasing me! I'm not a vampire you goober!

Geobe: Those canines of yours look elongated to me. Stand still and let me save you from the fate of the undead.

Geobe dear, she really isn't a vampire.

Geobe: No? But I got a report that a vampire was going to show up here today.

Seems like someone sent you on a false errand. Probably a Porker wanting to make trouble at this festive occasion.

Geobe: Frammit!

Tabitha: Did that woman just show up in a Pick Pork t-shirt? Brad is going to blow his top.

Candi: Brad, I know this is probably a shock, but we can still be friends, can't we?

Brad: I abjure you, devil-woman! Get thee behind me, thou foul Pick Porker!

Candi: But Brad....

Tabitha: You screwed up big time, old woman. You'll be lucky if the only thing that happens to you is that Brad doesn't speak to you anymore.

Candi: Tabitha, please, you have to talk to him for me. I tried to follow the Chicken Way, but I was weak and unable to give up bacon. I got tired of hiding in my house like a thief and scarfing down that crispy salty treat while hoping no one would open the closet door and see me. This was the only way I could eat what I wanted in the open.

Tabitha: You think it has been easy for me? Well it hasn't. I went cold turkey the day I moved into this house and I've stuck to it. You get no sympathy from me.

Hey! It's a party and Garg isn't pregnant. This must be a red letter day.

Garg: ...you've got all that, Aki? Take care of it quietly. We can't afford any scandal.

Aki: Just leave it to me.

Candi should be worried. I know I am.

Cole: You ready with that big horn back there? I expect you people to make lots of noise for my grandson.

Tabitha: I'm on it, Cole!

Bittern: Does she have to blow it in my ear, Grandma?

Cole: I suppose you're old enough to understand now, dear. Bittern, you're mom, well she ain't all there in the head.

Because I'm a goober, I forgot to give him the photographer's eye trait, and rolled instead. He is a shy, absent-minded, heavy-sleeper...so I gave him permanent bedhead.

But Bittern isn't the only one transitioning at this party.

Tabitha: You go, BJ! Turn into one incredible adult!

Cole: That woman annoys me so much, I can't even look at her.

BJ: I know just what I'll wish for.

BJ: I wish to be a lucky pervasive private investigator!

Cole: That's all well and good, BJ, but what's with the costume?

BJ: Haven't you seen the TV, Grandma? All good detectives have unique costumes.

Cole: But you look like you're from the 1800's.

BJ: Sherlock Holmes...duh.

Cole: Don't take that tone with me, young man. We Byrds have never needed to wear costumes before.

Akepa: I have a costume, Mom. And so do you.

Cole: Don't contradict the Leader, Sugarlump. It's in bad form.

Corbin: I don't know if you've noticed Alba...

Corbin: ...but your wife seems to have put on a little weight. Is she pregnant?

Tabitha: No! I'm not pregnant! I'm telling you that aliens from the planet Borax implanted their seed pod in my womb!

Bittern: *munches on tofu cake* I don't know what a womb is, Mom, and to be honest, I'd rather not know.

Of course, BJ and Sergio are close in age, so I had to pop over and check on my son. Be grateful the picture turned out rather dark. For some reason, he went for the hoodlum look...somehow that seems to fit.

The next day it was time for BJ to graduate!

BJ: I can't believe they wouldn't let me graduate in my waistcoat. They are making me wear this silly robe thing and a square hat that does absolutely nothing for my head.

It is only temporary. Deal with it.

My boys!

Sergio: Hey Dad. Where's Mom?

Geobe: She's already inside, Sergio. You know how she likes to be early to everything. She promised to save us good seats.

BJ graduated valedictorian and was voted Most Likely To Never Leave the House.

Brady: Dude, I know you are excited, but did you have to let the door shut on me?

BJ: I can't believe it! I graduated! No more homework!

BJ: Buzz! This is the best thing ever! You need to hurry up and graduate.

Buzz: Shut up! I'm working on it.

Randall: The name is Stormcaller. Randall Stormcaller.

Anyone else think he looks like a blonde James Bond?

Gargantua: Monte! What are you doing sitting out here, hmm? Where are your brothers? Better still, where is your father?

I was too chicken to investigate further, but I suspect that Monte was born while Garg was still a vampire. He seems a lot paler than his brothers. Damn that Eric Northman!

Graduation day was a busy one for the Byrds. As soon as they got back home, it was time for a transition.

Buzz: The Ancient Chicken Sensei blesses us all! Not only did we have tofu cake for graduation, but we get some for a birthday, too!

Rowlf: What up, Byrds? Let's see what the munchkin looks like.

She is absolutely adorable! Why couldn't she have been born first? Sigh.

Budgie: *laughing* Rowlf funny!

Bittern: I don't mean to bother you Handler, but may I ask you a question?

Sure.

Bittern: Miss Piggy is getting restless. When is she going to turn into an imaginary friend?

I don't know. I was new to the imaginary friend gig and did not max out the relationship points while Bittern was a toddler. We made sure they were maxxed as a child, but Miss Piggy never turned. The only hope now is to see what happens when the relationship is built during the teen years. I don't know if an imaginary friend can convert that late or not.

Miss Piggy: Stupid Handler! If I had control of my limbs I'd give you a HIYAH! You'd better find a way to make it work because I want to be with my Kermie.

BJ: Janna! I'm delighted, but surprised to see you. I wasn't expecting you until later and I'm not properly dressed.

Janna: *giggle* I hope you don't mind, BJ, but I saw an opportunity to sneak out of the house and took it. If I had waited, my mother would have followed me.

I don't know what is about Sim!Candi. Not only has she joined the Pick Porker movement, but she has some weird relationship with her daughter. She doesn't let Janna go anywhere by herself. Should make for an interesting marriage.

Zucchini! What did the Doctor say? Are you going to be alright?

Zucchini Food: Yes, no thanks to your husband. You've got to do something to reign him in.

Reign him in? LOL! I have no control over Geobe whatsoever. If you want to get yourself turned into a creature of the night, you take your chances.

Vaughn! Welcome back from the dead. Our first ghost haunting, and it isn't even a Byrd.

Sim!Neder: I want that. Think they will take my new Ghostly Express credit card?

Probably not.

Cole: There is a ghost in our living room watching TV. I approve. It only took 14 chapters, but this is starting to look like a legacy.

Everyone's a critic. Sheesh.

Cole: Hey there little Budgie. Why don't you stop talking to yourself and come with me. We can peek out the window at your older brother. And if anyone asks, it is not spying.

Budgie: Peek!

BJ: Hey there Janna, my SugarLump. I'm so glad to see you! How did you manage to get away from your mother?

Janna: I told her I was headed to soccer practice. She hates soccer, so we've got at least 3 hours before she comes looking.

BJ: Let's make the most of it then.

In the meantime, I threw a bachelor party for Brady. It will forever be known as the party that wasn't.

Geobe: Um, Sergio? Son? The party is inside the club, so why are you hanging out here?

Sergio: This wall fascinates me, Dad. If you look closely you can see the individual pixels that went into making it.

Brady: Oh gracious! I hope I'm not late. Have the dancers already arrived?

Minion Bouncer: Are you kidding? Your guests haven't even arrived.

Lawrence: Hmm, I think Sergio might be right. If you stare long enough you can just see the individual pixels.

Gordon Boudreaux: Pixels? Is that the name of a stripper?

Brady popped into his "dress to impress" gear only to pop right out of it again.

Brady: Hey bartender, mix up a round of drinks for me and my crew. I'll be getting married soon, and probably forced to have children, so I can use all the alcohol I can get.

Minion Bartender: Sure thing buddy, but with no one else in here, you might be drinking them all yourself.

Brady: Even better.

Brady wasn't completely alone. There was one other individual in the bar.

Sim!Grant: You! The Handler! You let me get all old while my wife, Sim!Amanda is still young!

Wasn't my idea.

Grant: Well I know it wasn't Amanda's idea. She loves me and never wants to part from me, ever. And now she's got lots of time left and I'm standing here with one foot in the grave...literally.

He wasn't kidding. Grant Nichols is a sim without feet. It's kinda freaky.

The party was a complete disaster. And even though it wasn't really a party, the game still read it as one, so Brady won't get a redo. I'm hoping this is not a sign that all bachelor parties are going to be glitched. Won't know for sure until it is Akepa's turn, and that is coming up real soon.

Brady: That club was so smoky and disgusting. I had to come straight home, throw up from all that alcohol, and take a shower.

Hmm....yes, you do exactly that.

Brady: I know the real reason my party sucked. It's because my Dad couldn't be there. *blubbers*

Brady sure does cry a lot about his Dad's death. But hey, we've got sparrows on the wallpaper, so that should make it all OK.

Alba: Budgie, we hear you mumbling to yourself all the time, so we decided it was time to teach you to speak properly. Now, can you say, vegetable?

Budgie: *giggles* Kermie!

Brad: Just think of it, Bittern. This land was wild and uncivilized before the coming of the Ancient Chicken Sensei and the laws he brought to the land.

Bittern: Uncivilized how?

Brad: They preferred pork over chicken.

Bittern: That's horrible!

BJ: Well how about this? My heart bleeds for you, my darling. And if you don't agree to my marriage proposal, I shall surely die of a heart attack.

Buzz: *snickering* Dude, that's horrible. Do you really want to guilt trip her into marrying you?

BJ: Then how am I supposed to ask?

Buzz: Just go with what's in your heart. And make sure her mother isn't hiding in the bushes at the time.

Janna: BJ, I came as soon as I could. Mom will be expecting me home from work soon though, so tell me what's so urgent, but do it quickly.

BJ: I have to ask you a very important question, Janna.

BJ: Will you marry me and be the Dr. Watson to my Holmes? The Captain Hastings to my Poirot? The Archie Goodwin to my Nero Wolfe? Sergeant Lewis to my Inspector Morse?

Janna: Oh my Plumbob! I don't know who those people are, BJ, but of course I will marry you!

BJ: Together we will fight for Peace and Chicken Grease and make Volcano Cove a great place to live.

Janna: Of course we will, BJ. We just have to figure out how to tell my mother, first.

BJ: Hmmm....yes....your Mom. We'll figure out something, I'm sure.

Tabitha: ...and then the aliens crept into my bedroom when Alba was working and implanted their seed pod into my belly.

Cole: *gives Tabitha an evaluating glance* Are you sure you're not just fat?

Tabitha: I'm not fat! I drank milk before I realized I was implanted, and milk makes them grow.

Cole: Are you really buying this malarky, Snickerdoodle?

Brad: I don't think we should dismiss it outright, Cheesecake. BJ told me about this program he saw on the telly that talked about how scientists have finally proven the existence of the planet Borax. Now, just because Tabitha...

Brad: ...Gerk...

BJ: My first case! Let's see who needs help from the Chicken Detective xtraordinaire. Sammi Boudreaux? My friend is in distress?! To the Chicken Mobile!

BJ: Get out of the way! I've got an emergency! Stupid SUV drivers. Think they own the road.

I don't think BJ needs to worry about the drivers as much as he needs to worry about the SUVs themselves. Because they are apparently driving themselves.

It actually took me a minute to realize that the lady in the poor choice of clothing was Sammi.

I gave her a quick makeover. Much better.

Sammi: I'm glad you came BJ. Virginia Clem Adair has been hacking into company files and doctoring her performance evaluations. It is giving her promotions that should be rightfully coming to me! I need your help to stop it.

Virginia: Haha, bitch. There ain't nuttin' you can do stop me.

Sammi: Watch what you say to me, Virginia. I've got no qualms about putting the smack down on your ass.

Virginia: You and what army?

BJ: Don't worry, Sammi. I'll get to the bottom of this. *phone rings* Hello?

Cole: BJ dear, you need to get home right now.

Cole: Something terrible is happening.

Tabitha: Cole, Brad looks all sparkly. That isn't good, is it?

Brad: Oh! I feel...quite nice, actually.

Cole: NO! Not my SugarLump!

Tabitha: *sobs* I never got to watch the stars with Brad, and now I'll never get the chance!

Brad: This feels quite nice. Don't cry, my Cinnamon Swirl. It truly is a better place.

And here we have the univited guest.

Grim: There is too much pink in this room.

Buzz: Not Grandpa!

Bittern: Don't cry Grandma. Grandpa will be spreading the message of Peace and Chicken Grease in the Underworld. *sniffle* Won't he?

Grim: Hey there, Cole. I'm a big fan of your work. See you soon.

Cole: You just try it.

BJ: I'm home, Grandma. What's going on?

Grim: I know they are grieving. I'll just help them out a bit by taking out the garbage.

He then stood there, doing absolutely nothing, until finally dropping the garbage on the floor and disappearing. Thanks a lot, Grim.

Monte Stormcaller: Hey lady, what are staring at?

Sim!Livia: It's amazing. Sergio is so right. You really can see the pixels if you look closely enough.

Sergio: See? I told you.

It seems that Sergio has started something. Everyone now likes to stare at the walls.

As for Professor Honeydew, he looks completely unlike any stuffy professor I know.

Honeydew: No one will use this tub, because I totally claim it as mine.

You can't claim a tub.

Honeydew: Of course I can. I peed in it.

Everyone is grieving...including me. But we all know that different people grieve in different ways.

BJ: Oh Sammi, it was horrible. Even though I got home as fast as I could, I was too late. I couldn't see him off.

Sammi: It's alright, BJ. Your Grandpa understands, I'm sure.

Brady: Akepa, it is too much. First my Dad, and then your Dad. I don't know if I can take it.

Akepa: I know, Brady. I'm pretty broken up about it, too.

Akepa: *leans in to nibble on his neck* But I know one way we can help each other through the grieving process.

Brady: But what about Papa Brad's rule?

Akepa: I'm sure that under the circumstances, he'd understand.

Brady: In that case...

BJ: Minion Bartender! My Grandpa just died, so make me something that will drown out my sorrows and keep it coming.

Eric Northman: *hic* That's the ticket, kid. Alcohol eases the pain...so much pain....

BJ: I don't know what that lady put in the drinks, but I didn't even get a buzz. Let's try the bubbles.

Alcohol and drugs - that's a bad way to cope, BJ. I hope you don't make this a habit.

Sim!Neder: In honor of this sad day, I have done you a favor.

Really?

And how is scaring the repairman who was supposed to fix the dishwasher a favor?

Minion Handyman: Oh...a ghost....*groans*

Bittern: I wish you were real, Miss Piggy. My Grandpa died today and I could use a hug.

Miss Piggy: Don't blame me, kid. Blame the Handler.

And on that note, we will close this sad chapter. Will the aliens come back to claim the seed pod inside of Tabitha? Will BJ become an addict? Or will the love of Janna save him? And will Janna escape the clutches of her controlling mother? I don't know, but bring your tissues for the episode because we will attend Brad's funeral. I'm going to go cry now. Until next time!


Category: The Byrds