Welcome back to the Byrds, where we prefer our chicken extra crispy. In the last episode, Kermit became real, Buzz schooled Heather in the proper observance of Peace and Chicken Grease, and Tabitha finally lost the alien seed pod. Akepa and Brady got married and moved out after Akepa took over as Leader of the Underworld, and the feud between Tabitha and Cole continues unabated.
And we begin this chapter right where we left off last time, with the addition of a new family member: Kermit Byrd. For those who are curious, his traits are slob, loser, photographer's eye, and computer whiz.
Budgie: ...and holding someone's hands is a sign of affection.
Kermit: Like this?
Budgie: *smiling* Just like that. But you should only use this gesture with the sim that is nearest and dearest to your heart.
Kermit: I am.
Alba: I'm glad you convinced your Mom to let you move in with us, Janna. However did you manage it?
Janna: Oh, it was no big deal. G'mama Byrd suggested I give Aki a call, so I did. By the time I reached the house to pack my bags, Mom was standing on the porch with my things already stuffed into boxes. She wished me well and then darted inside and shut the door. I thought I heard her turn the lock, which is a bit strange. No one in Volcano Cove locks their doors. I wonder what Aki said to my Mom to make her change her mind.
Alba: *shivers* There is no telling.
After much effort, I discovered that Master Controller allows you to add sims to your household...whether they want to come or not. So Janna is now part of the household. She is a disciplined loner of a slob who can't stand art or water. Her lifetime wish is to become The Zoologist - collect 20 minor pets. *facepalm*
Janna: Do you hear that?
Alba: Yeah. What is that?
Minion Stray Cat: I'll teach these Byrds to ignore me. *loudly shreds the paper before running off*
Sorry kitty. I've got a plan for adding pets to the household, but with the revelation of Janna's lifetime wish, it will have to be postponed for a bit. Otherwise, we'd be overrun!
BJ: Yeah, Kermit when I said you needed to stand close to a sim you wish to have a conversation with, I didn't mean this close. How about you take a few steps back?
Kermit: I'd love to, BJ, but I think my chest is fused to yours.
And Kermit continues to learn how to properly interact with other sims.
Buzz: Wow. When I booked The Grunge for my bachelor party, I didn't realize it would be so dark.
Why do you think they named it The Grunge?
Buzz: Oh. I guess the bad lighting ensures no sees all the puke on the floor.
Among other things, I'm sure.
Lawrence: Excuse me, folks! Give me a minute of your time, please. I'd like to propose a toast to my friend, Buzzard Byrd.
Rufus Tiger Creeper: Where is that voice coming from? It's so dark in here I can barely see...
Lawrence: *sniffles* I'm so happy that Buzz has found a good woman to love. One that stands by him through thick and thin, and actually listens to him when he speaks! He has found a true lifemate; a woman who won't boss him around constantly, belittle everything he does, and has a host of relatives that hate his guts. *sniffles* It couldn't happen to a better guy.
Randall Stormcaller: Wow. I think that was the most pathetic toast I've ever heard.
Moss Chimeree: I know dude. But really, you should give Lawrence a break. Have you met his wife?
Buzz: Lawrence, man, I'm glad to know you're happy for me and Heather, but did you have to turn your toast into a whinefest? My Aunt Aki can't possibly be that bad.
Lawrence: *looks horrified* You have no idea. But you're right. This is your funeral, er party, and I shouldn't be dragging it down with my tears. I think I might have something here that can help improve the mood.
Buzz: Um, Lawrence, are you sure you want to do this? This outfit is rented!
Lawrence: Let's see, if I just grab this bottle hard and move it up and down...
Lawrence: ...it erupts all over you!
Buzz: Frammit! Grandma is right! You really are a dipwad.
Pilot Inspektor Creeper: I object to such suggestive pictures and dialog in this chapter! Exploding bottles are extremely offensive.
Lawrence: What? I don't get it. What's wrong with showering the groom-to-be with champagne?
Did no one else's mind jump into the gutter when watching Lawrence fondle a bottle of champagne? Oh the comments I could make. But let's divert to something else, shall we? Look, it's Gordon Boudreaux. Is he about to have another unfortunate accident?
Gordon: No, I am not! I'm stooped because I'm old, not because I'm incontinent. Nice seque, though.
The party was a raging success in spite of Lawrence, and when we got home I saw this. Awwww.
Brad: We've come a long way from our tiny little house in Sunset Valley, Pumpkin.
Cole: I know Snickerdoodle. And just think, one day our descendants will be as numerous as the stars in the sky.
Brad: And when you join me, Cinnamon Swirl, we can watch over them together, for an eternity.
Janna does not have a career related lifetime wish, so I waited to see what she rolled before picking a job for her. She rolled a wish to get a job in education, so she is now a playground monitor or somesuch. Interestingly enough, she's a loner, so she gets a negative moodlet every time she goes to work.
Janna: The kids don't bother me, but I get nervous when there are too many adults around.
She picked it. She can suffer.
I had no idea how hard her lifetime wish would be, so I wanted to get it done before she and BJ tie the knot. I figure that after the wedding I'll be too busy working (eternally) on BJ's LTW and taking care of the fledglings. To make things easier I gave her the Byrd collection helper, and this little guy is her first acquisition.
Minion Snake: Hey! Dont tread on me!
At first I figured I could have terrarium for each category of critter. After all there is no reason you can't have more than one snake in a cage at a time, right?
Wrong. Apparently each critter has to have it's own cage. Hoo boy. We're going to have critters coming out of our ears!
Janna: *giggles* This cute little guy can chew on my ears anytime.
BJ: Are you ready to go, Buzz? We need to leave now if we want to be there in time.
Buzz: Are you sure we have to go? That challenge was issued several chapters ago. Maybe the deal has expired? Or maybe Lagasse forgot?
BJ: I don't think we can take that chance, Buzz. The election for a new El Presidente happens tomorrow, and if we don't show up, and win, there is no guarantee Lagasse and his Pick Porkers won't do something to Mom to prevent her election. We have to go.
Buzz: Alright BJ, I'm in. Let's go kick some Pick Porker butt.
Virginia Clem Adair: Nice to see you two chicken butts decided to join us. Welcome to our top secret Gnubb Club.
Eric Northman: Erm, Virginia, this place really isn't all that secret, seeing as it sits on the main drag...
Virginia: Shut up.
BJ: We Byrds, the true representatives of Peace and Chicken Grease, are here to defeat you! Go get 'em, Buzz.
Buzz: What? Me? I thought we were going to tag team this game.
BJ: Change of plans. Your baton arm is stronger than mine since I hurt my hand punching Lagasse. Get in there and do some damage.
Buzz: *grumble grumble*
Eric: You are getting nervous...really really nervous. Your baton arm is starting to tremble with fear...because you know that at any time I can sink my teeth into your neck...
Buzz: Back off, vampire. Not only do you not scare me...
Buzz: ...Geobe is a close family friend.
Eric: *shudders* Buzzard Byrd is one cool cucumber. My taunts didn't faze him in the slightest! And he knows Geobe! If Geobe gets wind of me trying to hassle him... *gulp* I'd best get out of here!
Yep, Eric Northman ran crying like a little girl from the field of Gnubb battle.
Sonny Creech soon arrived to serve as the pinch hitter for the Pick Pork team. Interestingly enough, Buzz and he share a profession, and I'm fairly certain Buzz had no idea he was working with a Pick Porker.
Sonny: I'm here. Can we hurry up and get this match over with? I've got other places to be and other women to romance.
Virginia: You're good, Buzz. I'll give you that. But I'm better!
*Tosses the baton so high it smacks her in the head*
In lieu of taking a lot of pictures of the game (because they held it at night and the lighting was terrible), lets fast forward to the end, shall we?
Viriginia: You have defeated us in the fair and noble game of Gnubb. I salute you for your valiant efforts on the battlefield. We will not interfere with the elections tomorrow...but you have not heard the last of us!
Buzz won! Hooray!
Akepa: Lookie what I got!
While Pork waged war against Chicken, Akepa and Brady welcomed a new addition to the Byrd clan. Everyone say hello to Blackbird.
Ok, so I didn't realize until I typed this that she is now Blackbird Byrd. LOL!
Morning dawned on an important day in Volcano Cove. Today we find out if Peace and Chicken Grease will continue to rule the politics of the land.
And BJ decided it was better to be safe than sorry and staked out City Hall for the duration of voting.
BJ: I know we won last night, but I don't trust a Porker farther than I can him.
Generally, I'd say that's smart thinking, but I don't think you'll have any problems.
The Pick Porkers are busy finding a scapegoat for their failure.
Emeril: There you are Eric. I've been looking all over for you.
Jeb Secksie: I've been hiding in the bushes all day, just like you said Master Lagasse. And shore 'nuff the varmint turned up. He showed up so fast I didn't even have time to finish my six-pack.
Emeril: Yes, Jeb. Thank you. You've done a good job.
Jeb: *laughing* Eric, you're in more trouble than an possum on the freeway!
Eric: *squeals like a little girl*
Emeril: What were you thinking? You acted like a baby in the face of the enemy! What is the first rule I teach all my Porkers? Never flinch! And because you acted like a little girl, we lost the challenge! Now we'll have to wait until the next Byrd is in line for El Presidente and try to strike again.
Eric: Please don't hurt me! *cowers*
I can't believe what a loser Sim Eric Northman turned out to be. I'm so disappointed.
Still, judging from the look of pure evil on that child's face, the opposing faction will continue to remain viable for a little while longer. I apparently did not write down the name of this tyke, but I do think he/she/it is related to Jeb.
Jeb: *rude laugh* My child here has more evil in him/her/it than that sorry excuse for a vampire.
Meanwhile, BJ continues his surveillance.
Jet Chimeree: So did you vote?
Sim!Locatus: Sure did. Peace and Chicken Grease all the way, baby. You?
Jet: The same for me, though Lefty gave me a bit of a hard time. Not to worry, though. Me and Righty straightened him out.
Tabitha: Be impressed Ghost Brad. Today I have ascended to the throne and been named El Presidente of Volcano Cove. Peace and Chicken Grease wins again!
Brad: That's fantastic, Tabitha. I always knew you had it in you.
Tabitha: *giggles* Thanks! You wanna go watch the stars with me?
Brad: No thank you.
Cole: Did I just hear you ask my Ghost husband to watch the stars with you?
Tabitha: *gulp* Erm, sorry Cole. I think I just got caught up in the moment and all. I did get elected El Presidente today. That should make you happy, right? I've fulfilled my obligation.
Cole: *long-suffering sigh* Well, since you did bring honor to the Byrd name today, I won't stuff you in the comfy chair. But the next time...
Tabitha: I understand. It won't happen again!
Yeah, anyone else believe that?
While the election madness has been going on, Janna has been slowly collecting critters. I have to say that I think the turtles are my favorite so far. So cute!
Alba: Cute they may be, but keeping them all fed and clean is a chore for a host of sims. I hope she finishes this LTW soon.
Yeah, me too. It doesn't help that the Handler is paranoid these creatures are going to kick the bucket before the lifetime wish is completed, thus knocking the count back some. So I've got everybody, and I do mean everybody, tending to the needs of these minor pets while Janna goes out and gets more.
I didn't discover until much later that she doesn't have to keep all of them; she just has to catch them. Handler Fail!
And the prank wars continue...
Budgie: Hehe, I'll just add a little special something to the laptop.
And when she finished that I disovered that dramatic sims can fake passing out, LOL!
Unfortunately, there was no one else in the room at the time so her dramatic gesture garnered no sympathy. But I will have to remember that.
Buzz, I love you! This was the reason I kept him around for so long. I was determined that the Byrds would have a TARDIS, er time machine. Hooray!
BJ: Another job successfully completed. On to the next!
BJ: What the -?
BJ: *screams* That horrible face! Staring at me! It's so scary.
Budgie: *sniggering in the background*
What could be more domestic than a son spending time with his mother?
Alba: Wow Mom, that position gives a whole new meaning to the phrase sticking one's head up one's -
Cole: *Mumble mumble*
Alba: Ok Mom. I'll shut up now.
Um, Buzz? I think your butt is on fire.
Buzz: What are you talking about, Handler? I'm just working on my next project...
Buzz: Oh my plumbob! My butt really is on fire!
Buzz: Put it out! PUT IT OUT!
Janna: Oh Buzz, I'm sorry but you...reek. *Vomits all over his feet*
Buzz: Yes, I'm well aware, Janna. And I'm just as unhappy about the situation as you are.
This picture makes me giggle. But do not worry. Buzz came out of the ordeal a little singed, but I was able to put him to rights once again.
A womrat! A long time ago in my extremely defunct Sims 2 Pendragon legacy, the womrats were actually magical creatures created when Merlin misfired a spell. They planned to take over the world, so you will have to pardon me for being a tad bit nervous to find the devious critters here in my Sims 3 game.
Minion Womrat: *squeak squeak*
Yeah, you just try it.
I find the chipmunk to be a much better specimen of a rodent anyway.
Janna: Who's a cute little chippy munk with his cheeks pooched out? You are! *giggles* His whiskers tickle my nose.
Minion Paparazzi: *Badly dressed as a repair man* So the newest Byrd added to the clan appears to have more than one screw loose as she spends most of her time talking to small critters...
Yeah, this will end well.
Tabitha: *gasp* I just overheard Buzz talking to Corbin Boudreaux. Does that mean...?
In fact, that is exactly what it means, Tabitha. Anytime Corbin is around, there has to be a party of one sort or the other. Today we are celebrating the union of Buzzard Byrd and Heather Fulton.
*Horrified gasp* Geobe! You're one of the undead! What the heck happened?
Geobe: My son decided it would be funny to give me the curse in the middle of night. Neither me nor his mother find it amusing. *runs into the bushes* Dangit son, I'm not used to super speed. How do you keep from running into things?
Monte: You get used to it after awhile, Dad. It just takes practice.
Kermit: Garg, surely you don't plan on letting this stand?
Garg: Of course not. My husband will not have the time to practice. I fully intend to put a stake through his heart as soon as we get home.
Janna: *laughing* Oh my plumbob! Did you hear that Gargantua plans to stake her husband as soon as they get home? That's hilarious! Don't you think so, BJ?
BJ: I think we've got more important things to be focusing on today.
Heather: *giggles* Still, it is pretty funny.
Cole: Another of my grandchildren is getting married today. I only wish my Bradley could be here to see it.
BJ: Heather, you make a most beautiful bride. My brother is a lucky man, and I am proud to soon count you as sister-in-law.
Heather: Thank you, BJ. That means a lot to me.
Kermit: *Stares wistfully at Budgie* Any sim that gets to marry a Byrd has to be extremely lucky.
Budgie: *Oblivious* Are you kidding me? Have you met my Aunt Aki?
Buzz: I just wanted to say thank you, Handler. You've found me the best woman in all of Volcano Cove.
Corbin: I will not cry at this wedding. I will not cry at this wedding....
Monte: Who are you kidding? You cry at all the weddings, Corbin.
Buzz: Are you ready, Sugarlump?
Garg: Psst. Sergio! The wedding is about to start, son. Sit down.
Sergio: Of course, Mother. I had intentions of doing just that.
Sergio: Since you tell me often enough how much you want me to get married and give you grandkids, I've brought a notebook in which to record the details of this happy occasion. If I am to bring you future joy by following this archaic tradition, I want to be sure I get as many details correct as possible.
Budgie: By the Chicken Sensei, that Sergio Stormcaller is such a jerk. He's ruining the wedding!
Cole: I know dear. I don't know why we bother to associate with those people in the first place.
Kermit: Why didn't I think of bringing a pad of paper to take notes on? I want my wedding to be perfect too!
Sergio: I'm sure no one will mind if I sit here in the middle of the aisle. I want to be sure to get a good view.
Garg: I blame your father for this.
Heather: Buzzard Byrd, ignoring all the chaos in the audience, I pledge myself to you for as long as I live, or as long as the Handler allows.
Buzz: And I pledge myself to you, Heather Fulton Byrd, for as long as I live, or as long as the Handler allows.
And with the vows stated, the Handler now declares you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.
*insert smoochie noises here*
Lawrence: Ha! First out the door. If I run fast enough I'll be first in line for a piece of tofu wedding cake!
Lawrence: Well, first in line once I have my leg reattached at the hospital.
You really are a dipwad.
Buzz: I would just like to say that today is the happiest day of my life. Now let's eat!
Heather: Happiest day, Pumpkin? You just wait till tonight. I'm going to blow your socks off...literally.
Buzz: Erm... *is speechless*
Heather: Lawrence, I'm glad to see you got your leg reattached. The rumor is that you had a fight with your wife and she pushed you into the glass. Is that true?
Lawrence: No, that is not true! My wife and I don't have fights. She tells me what to do and I do it, no questions asked.
Kermit: Is he serious?
Budgie: Oh yeah, he's completely serious. You really haven't met my Aunt Aki yet, have you?
And on that note, we will close this chapter this of the Byrds. Will Heather manage to rock Buzz's world? Will Aki realize she married a dipwad and take things into her hands? Is Janna going to succeed (at driving me crazy) in collecting 20 minor pets? And are we ever going to get to Generation C? Only time will tell! Join us next time for another chapter in the ongoing saga of Byrds in Space! Until then, Happy Simming!