Welcome back to the Byrds, where horses are llamas and birds are Byrds. Last time we witnessed the happy union of BlueJay and Janna, as well as their subsequent honeymoon in China. While there, BJ and Janna spread the message of Peace and Chicken Grease, and they acquired Cardinal, who is thus far still chirping! Bittern hasn't found himself a woman (and he wants a woman for sure. I checked!), and BJ continues to plug along at his interminable lifetime wish.

Today's chapter begins with Geobe giving Lawrence a hard time in the graveyard.

Geobe: You! In the mismatched scrubs. My wife tells me that you're a dipwad.

Lawrence: Me? Surely you must be mistaken. I'm just an average country doctor with no ties at all to the Byrd family or your wife Gargantua. In fact, I'm sure I've never even met the woman.

Geobe: Never heard of my wife, eh? Then how do you even know her name?

Lawrence: Umm...well...maybe I heard her name from one of your campaigns?

Geobe: Likely story. Take this! *shoves his elbow into Lawrence's chest* That's for being a dipwad and causing my wife grief. If you don't want even worse, then stay out of her way.

Lawrence: *oof* OK, I promise. Just don't hurt me anymore.

My honey. He's ever so protective.

Janna: So you are getting up there in years, Mother Tabitha. Do you think Grim will come for you soon? Cause if he did, that would make me very happy.

Tabitha: Oh I hope so. Once I'm dead, I can be free to float around the house with Brad. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Janna: Well, I suppose it does sound rather nice, but don't you think G'Mama Byrd would have something to say about it?

Cole: Darn tootin' I'd have something to say about it. You aren't touching my Brad even in the afterlife, you old harpy!

Janna: Excuse me. I hate to interrupt another heart-warming family moment, but I feel that I should inform you all that...

Janna: You need to shut your traps because the baby is coming!

Cole: *ignores the birthing mother and continues to glare at Tabitha*

BJ: Oh my Plumbob! Grandpa, what do I do? I've never had a baby before.

Brad: Don't worry BJ. I've done this plenty of times. As the father it is your job to first put your hands up like this, and then allow your wife to drive herself to the hospital. If she's not terribly upset with you, she might even let you ride with her.

BJ: Got it. Got the car keys honey?

Bittern: Oh, hello Beth. I didn't know you were coming over.

Beth: Well Kermit gave me a call.

Bittern: Oh. I see. Um...well...would you like to play some Gnubb?

Beth: I'd love to.

And while Bittern played Gnubb with Beth, an obvious set-up, Janna gave birth to a girl - our first female Byrd heir. And what did you decide to name her?

BJ: Chick-

Janna: -adee! You've got another think coming BlueJay Byrd if you think I'll let you name our child Chicken. That is reserved for the Ancient Chicken Sensei and I'll not be accused of disrespecting family traditions!

BJ: *grumble grumble*

Janna: No, you won't get your chance with the next one.

Chickadee is brave and loves the outdoors.

I'm guessing that Twallan made some changes to his mods, because I'm now getting lots of popups about people adopting cute little four-legged friends. I'm certainly not going to complain! This is Mochi, and she has been adopted by Sim!Amanda. Welcome Mochi!

...and congrats Amanda on becoming a puppy mother!

Amanda: Thanks! She's no pit bull, but I think she'll do. Gives me something more to take care of than just an elderly husband.

In addition to four-legged babies, we are also seeing more of the two-legged kind as well. Buzz and Heather have added another girl to they Byrd family tree. What did you decide to name her, Heather?

Heather: Our newest addition is named Canary!

What a nice name! I hope she likes yellow.

Alba: Am I doing this right, Buzz?

Buzz: Perfect Dad. Just don't throw the baton too high, or else your toss might backfire.

Cole: I don't understand why we have to spend time practicing this silly game.

BJ: We have to be ready, Grandma. You never know when the Porkers will challenge us to another match.

Cole: I understand that, but do you really think Lagasse would try the same trick twice? Wouldn't someone that diabolical come up with a new challenge?

BJ: Oh. I didn't think about that.

This outing was actually an attempt to get Buzz to bring Chewink and Canary over for a visit. I would like all the cousins to know one another and such, after all. But Buzz showed up without the baby in tow.

Brad: Ahh, a hot shower. There is no better way to get yourself clean.

Of course, him being a ghost, I'm sure the water goes right through him, so he gets the outside and the inside clean at the same time.

Brad: Brings new meaning to the phrase squeaky clean, don't it?

Chickadee received an imaginary friend doll from some suspicious unknown uncle. We named her Camilla (and if you don't know where we got the name from, you'd best click the link!). Miss Piggy was not impressed.

Miss Piggy: You think you can show up and tread on my territory? Seems to me like you need to be taught about the pecking order around here.

Camilla: I doubt you can do much considering you're stuck in that corner.

Miss Piggy: You just wait until I'm allowed to move again!

Alba: Come on Bittern. It isn't that hard. Just match up the dots on the table.

Bittern: Hush Dad. I'm thinking.

I replaced the table downstairs with the new domino table. I loved dominos as a kid, and I can already tell that this will be one of my favorite objects. Now four sims can build logic at the same time instead of just two!

Buzz: Hey Aunt Akepa. I'm guessing you got the phone call as well?

Akepa: Certainly did.

Buzz: And did you bring Blackbird with you as requested?

Akepa: Absolutely not! This is a party. Kids don't belong at a party.

Buzz: My sentiments exactly, which is why I did not bring either of my children either.

Grrrrr. You guys are thwarting my attempts to build relationships.

But it is a party. And here is Corbin as proof!

Corbin: That tiny chirping thing over there is creeping me out.

Don't be silly. It's just Cardinal, and I'm pleased to note that he is still alive and tweeting.

Heather: Hmmm, the kids might like one of those byrd things. I wonder what they eat. Seeds maybe?

Sim!Amanda: OK Garg. I'm here at the party. Where's Brad? Cause you know he's the only reason I came.

Heather: *calling out loudly* I found him Amanda! He's upstairs in the lovebird bedroom.

Brad: Hello there, devil woman.

Amanda: I found him! Now, what do I want to do first? Chat, Flirt, or Hug?

BJ: Would you guys stop obsessing about my Ghost Grandpa? We're here to transition Chickadee!

Brad: Did you say transition? I know what that means. Tofu cake! Hooray!

BJ: Don't you listen to him Chickadee. He's really here to watch you grow up.

Chickadee: *nearly passes out from BJ's armpit odor*.

Chickadee: I sees you up there Handler.

Such a cutie! Though the intelligence shining behind those eyes is a little unnerving.

It wasn't long after the transition that Kermit had to run to the school for a recital. And it was there that we found...this.

Minion Student: What up, Cole Byrd?

Cole: Apparently your hair is up, son. Um, is that your hair? Or some kind of fuzzy alien following you around?

Minion Student: *cackles with evil glee* I'll never tell.

Tabitha: I don't think that's the same alien that impregnated me, Cole. The ones from Borax aren't furry.

Kermit rocked his recital, of course.

BJ: Come on Chickie. Come to Daddy.

Chickie: Coming Daddy! Watch me!

Fair warning. I think this kid is adorable, so there might be some Chickadee picspam.

On the other hand, there will not be any picspam of these two.

Bullfinch: By the Chicken Sensei, Barbet, you are such a loser. How can you possibly be so bad at this game?

Barbet: Shut up! There's something wrong with this controller.

And I'm sure we all believe that, don't we?

And with the addition of Showtime, Volcano Cove began to have touring performers visit the town. The first to put on a show was Tex Brousard, a singer from Amanda's game. I thought he was quite the hottie; I later discovered he was a clone of Gordon Boudreaux, and his beefcake status suddenly made sense.

Tex: This venue is terribly dark.

I know. I just plopped down the premade lots, because I don't build and I'm lazy. It looks like I'll have to add some extra lighting to the big park though.

Sonny Creech: The music! The sound! He croons so well, it gets my booty shaking.

Kristen Priushorn-Fizzle: The first concert in Volcano Cove ever! And I'm here! This is awesome!

Sonny: Yeah, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in jail for bribing refs?

Kristen: I did my time. And besides, my parole officer said I could come.

LOL! The moves they use while on stage are priceless.

Bittern: *waving his arms back and forth* This is awesome! I will forever remember this night.

Turns out this was a night that everyone would remember.

Cole: Oh my. I suddenly feel a little strange.

Kermit: I know I heard something. Maybe the aliens are coming back?

The observant eye will notice all the spotlights in the distance. That's where the concert is going on.

Janna: I don't know Kermit. I've been looking, and I don't see anything out of the ordinary.

Cole: Oh! I'm levitating now. Is it possible that I've developed new powers as a result of my awesomeness?

Janna: Oh no! Kermit, I think I know what that strange noise was.

Kermit: Yeah, I see it too.

Cole: Oh, no new powers. This is what my Brad meant when he said it felt rather nice.

Janna: Please Mr. Grim, sir. Don't take Grandmother Cole away from us.

Kermit and Budgie: *crying uncontrollably*

Grim: Sorry Ms. Janna. I don't make exceptions.

Cole: It's about time you showed up. What took you so damn long?

Grim: Oh, don't get me started. You would not believe the problems we've been having in the Underworld. I've reaped plenty of criminals, and without your guidance, they are all going nuts! One even insisted on hanging draperies over the Underworld gates! Draperies?! You must be kidding me!

Minion Elderly Gnomes: Stop your griping! First you take Beaker, and now you're taking Cole? Just wait till we get over there. We'll show you a thing or two about reaping.

Minion Honeydew: Alright! Everyone surround the tombstone. She can't die if she can't get into the tombstone. Scooter, get off yer lazy ass and get moving!

Cole: Now, now my sweet gnomes. There's no reason for that. I'm 250 years old, and I'm quite ready to go.

Cole: So if you're ready to take me, Grim, then let's get on with this. My darling Brad is waiting.

Grim: Allow me to shake your hand Mrs. Cole Marie Byrd. I have no doubt that it will be an incredible pleasure to have you in the Underworld.

Cole: That's mighty nice of you Grim.

At that point, BJ and Bittern returned from the concert.

Bittern: No! Not Grandma!

BJ: *chokes on his own tears*

But not everyone was upset by the death of Cole.

Tabitha: This must be one of the happiest days of my life. The old crone is dead.

Cole, you will be missed. You were the backbone of steel this family needed in the face of the Porker threat, and I will be forever grateful. But I know you were lonely after Brad died. I hope the two of you will find eternal happiness in the afterlife.

*sniffle*

Kermit: Budgie, what will we do without her? Grandmother Byrd didn't bat an eyelash when I became real, and she supported me wholeheartedly. I'm really going to miss her.

Budgie: I know, Kermit. So will I.

Brad: Oh my darling Cinnamon Swirl. How cruel is fate to strike you down in your prime.

Brad, hon, I think you are being overly dramatic.

Brad: Don't talk to me that way, sis. You have no way of knowing the extent of my grief.

Yeah, but if she follows the Byrd pattern, you'll see her again tomorrow.

BJ: Handler, I am very sad. Chickie will never get the chance to truly know her Great Grandmother.

I know. What are you going to do about it?

BJ: Chickie, I know you are too young to understand, but I want to tell you all about your Great Grandmother. She was a vital part of this family, and made sure we followed the tenets of Peace and Chicken Grease.

Chickie: Sunshine!

BJ: Yes! She did bring lots of sunshine and brightness to our lives.

It was about this time that I noticed that Camilla was missing. Alright Miss Piggy, confess. What did you do with Camilla?

Miss Piggy: Like I'd tell you. You're the inept Handler that couldn't even get me to age up.

Chickie: Don't worry, Handler. I'll make her talk. Tell us the truth, Miss Piggy. Where is Camilla?

Miss Piggy: I'll never tell! The magical secrets of Imaginary Friends will never be known to you!

Chickie: Wrong answer, Pig.

While Chickadee is extracting information, we have a different and much more sad task to complete. Welcome dear readers to the funeral of Cole Marie Byrd. I hope you are all suitably attired.

Tabitha: Oh Budgie, I think I might miss Cole after all.

Budgie: Really Mom? We all know you were playing the drums out back when she died.

Tabitha: Yes really, dear. Without her around, who will I fight with? Then again, with her gone, I can now achieve my heart's desire and sit under the stars with Brad.

Bittern: My Mom really sucks, doesn't she?

A little bit, yeah.

Bittern: Then there is only one thing to do, Handler.

Bittern: Aunt Aki! Hold me! Not only is Great Grandma gone, but my Mom is crazy.

Aki: Oh dear, Bittern. Are you sure you want to get comfort from me? I'm not really equipped for...

Bittern: *sobs*

Aki: There there, nephew. *pats him awkwardly on the back* It will all be OK. But if you decide you need someone to take care of your mother problem, you just go ahead and give me a call.

Kermit: Garg, would you mind not causing a scene at Cole's funeral?

Garg: Yeah, sorry about that Heather. The loss of Cole has me so messed up, I can't tell which way I'm going.

The funeral was epic...whatever that means. I salute you Brad and Cole. You two started a truly fantastic family, and we all will be interested to see where it goes, and what it achieves.

Chickie: Camilla! You're back! Where did go?

Camilla: It was horrible! Miss Piggy had me trapped in the Land of Unloved Imaginary Friends! It was filled with IF's who had been rejected by their owners. But my magic was more potent than hers, and I made sure to return to you as soon as I possibly could.

We are glad you're back Camilla. I only hope your stint in the Land of Unloved IF won't have lasting consequences.

Bittern is still sculpting in his free time. I decided we should keep at least one of his pieces, and I settled on this one. Little did I know that this statue would prove to be prophetic.

Cole! Welcome back. We missed you for all of a day.

Cole: Thanks Garg. I think it was the smell of tofu cake that lured me back.

Bittern: Is that Grandma who just floated through the wall?

Yep. I think she came to watch you transition.

Bittern: Sweet!

Garg: This is so exciting! Cole is already back and Bittern transitions! I'm so happy! *punches her arm through Aki's shoulder*

Aki: Garg, I appreciate the fact that you are feeling quite ecstatic, but can you get your arm out of my shoulder?

Garg: I'm so sorry, Aki. I think my equilibrium still hasn't reset just yet. Shall we go to the hospital?

Bittern: Can't you wait until after I transition?

Garg: Well, Aki is sort of bleeding all over the floor...

Aki: Don't worry about me. I can tough it out.

Garg: Aki, are you sure?

Cole: Of course she's sure. Aki is a Byrd and tougher than diamonds. Now let's enjoy the transition.

Bittern: How's this?

Great leaping llamas! I haven't seen a transition that bad since your Grandpa Alba lost all of his hair.

Monte: Geez Aki, that's a huge hole in your shoulder. Shouldn't you be going to the hospital?

After a quick makeover, he looks much better.

Bittern: I have so much love to give our furry friends, but what I most want to do is find one of those llamas with a horn in the middle of their heads.

He rolled animal lover, and his lifetime wish is The Fairytale Finder. I told you that unicorn statue was prophetic.

Aki: Find a stupid horned llama? What a disappointment.

Tabitha: Oh my darling boy. Be careful around those horned llamas. I'm sure they were sent here by aliens, and if you get too close you might get implanted with an alien seed pod!

Akepa: Listen to your mother, Bittern.

Max Derp: I know there's a party in there. Maybe they won't notice if I sneak in?

Minion Ice Cream Man: We have the suspect under surveillance. Quarry is attempting to enter El Presidente residence. Request further instruction....Understood. Loading the ice cream canon....

Akepa finally managed to recruit the ice cream man for undercover security for El Presidente. If I were you Max, I'd run.

Bittern: Mom and Dad, I was thinking. Maybe we should consider getting a four-legged furry friend or two?

Tabitha: You know Alba, Bittern might have an idea. Getting a pet might be a good thing for Chickadee.

Alba: I have heard that being responsible for a pet can help build character.

Tabitha: Exactly. And what better way to develop character than by caring for a pet? There's feeding, and watering and picking up poop - all skills I know I use in politics nearly daily.

Alba: You know sweetheart, that almost made sense.

Alba: Alright, we'll do it. I'll put it to the Handler, and we'll see what happens.

Alba: Knowing Garg, though, I doubt she'll let us even look at pets until Bittern and Budgie have moved out.

Darn tootin'! I've got enough to care for as it is.

This is Beth Ann Kehrer, daughter of Sim!Sarah and Sim!Rob. My initial intention was to hook her up with Bittern, mainly because I like the idea of marrying the descendants of simselves into the Byrd family. But then...

...I aged her up and found her lacking.

Really, really lacking.

Beth Ann: How rude! They let me transition at Bittern's party, but as soon as they see what I'm wearing they quickly push me out the door!

Yeah, it may have had something to do with your inappropriate behavior towards BJ. Of course, tossing her out had little effect as she now stops by whenever she feels like it.

Sim!Amanda: Oh Cole, Brad touched my hand. This hand! You can still smell his ghostly essence on it. I don't think I will ever wash this hand ever again.

Cole: You might want to move that hand before I move it for you. And trust me, you won't like where I shove it.

Cole: *cackles with glee* I'm a ghost now! Anyone who dares touch my beloved Brad is in so much trouble!

Budgie: Go ahead, Beth. Blow out your candles.

Beth de Luca: OK, but I still don't know why Kermit insisted I come over right away to transition.

Oh, I'm sure Kermit had no ulterior motives. Me on the other hand...

Beth: How's this?

Perfect!

Join me next time when we learn more about Beth de Luca and whether or not she and Bittern can get along. Will Garg manage to stop sending people to the hospital? Will Amanda lose a hand? Will Miss Piggy's magical attack have lasting consequences for Camilla? And is Geobe going to beat up anyone else in the neighborhood? Hopefully we will find out next time! Until then, Happy Simming!


Category: The Byrds