Welcome back to the Byrds! Last time the Pick Porkers destroyed Volcano Cove by releasing a hazardous toxin into the water system. When Chick and Camilla tried to fix it, they only made it worse forcing the Byrds to relocate to Moonlight Falls. Bittern and Beth celebrated the move by getting hitched, Crane aged into a child, and most importantly, BJ met his lifetime wish. Finally.
Tabitha: I'm telling you, Honey, that the only way we could have been transplanted to this new world is through the machinations of the aliens from Borax. They must have teleported us here!
Alba: As interesting a theory as that is, Snickerdoodle, I think the actual truth is probably a bit closer to reality. Maybe by at least this much.
Cole: *Snicker* That woman always was a few bricks shy of a load. Honestly! Who could possibly believe in aliens?
Alba: Stranger things have happened, Mom.
Cole: Like what?
Alba: Well, I am sitting here conversing with your ghost.
I have to say that I really like the look of Moonlight Falls, not to mention that it has plenty of room for future lots. It is just as pretty as Volcano Cove was. I wonder, though, if the water is deep enough to add dive lots once I get Island Paradise.
Do you guys happen to remember Bittern's wedding vow? That he would love her in death and undeath? Yeah. Beth dear, how did this happen?
Beth: A very nice man named Eric Northman came to the door selling subscriptions to Kleptomaniac Weekly. I invited him in, and he promptly bit me.
Damn that Eric Northman! Maybe I can fix her at a family gathering to which Geobe will be invited?
Janna: Chickadee! You need to come downstairs, dear.
Chick: Be there in a minute! Just checking for monsters!
She didn't find any this time, but I am amazed at how often children will autonomously check.
Janna: Silly girl. You are the only child I know that is more interested in monsters beneath the bed than your own birthday. I felt myself wrinkling in the few minutes it took for you to get down here.
Chick: Sorry Mom.
Janna: Nevermind that. You just blow out your candles.
Chickadee gained the Loner trait. Even though I would have rolled for her anyway, it still annoys me that the move messed up her 'A' average and I wasn't given the chance. So Chickadee is a brave loner who loves the outdoors and has a photographer's eye. She's cute, too.
Chick: Top that Camilla.
Camilla: Don't issue me a challenge like that, girl, cause you know I'll totally do it.
Camilla: Mainly because I'm made of win.
Camilla is now an evil mooch schmoozer that sleeps lightly. How does that work?
Camilla: Simple. I tell folks they have to like me, or else they'll get my fist in their face. Works every time.
Some of you may be wondering why most of the shots in this chapter feature my sims in bathing suits. It is because I installed Seasons, and it's summer. I can't keep them out of the swimming pool. I've given up trying.
It's hot and they won't stay out of the water, but I have to direct them to use this thing.
Alba: Hmm, I wonder what this contraption is.
Just use it already. I promise you'll like it.
Alba: So I just scoop up ice in this cone?
Alba: And add flavoring?
Alba: You're right! I do like this.
Of course, the swimming pool isn't the only thing I can't keep them out of. You may interpret that as literally or as figuratively as you like.
Tabitha: Alba, is that bear watching us?
Alba: If he wants to watch, let's be sure to give him a show, eh?
Tabitha: *giggles* Oh Alba!
Chewink: Crane, what did you put as the answer to question number 5?
Crane: Number 5? Easy. Akepa says the best way to dispatch a zombie is put him in the Comfy Chair for retraining. The urge to eat people goes away after they learn to relax.
Chick: Comfy Chair? What kind of crap are they teaching you in school? Everyone knows that the best way to dispatch a zombie is to drown him in a vat of Chicken Grease. It is the only way that is pleasing to the Ancient Chicken Sensei.
Budgie: ICE CREAM!
As an additional note, Budgie won't stay away from the ice cream maker. Not that I can blame her. ICE CREAM!
Minion Zombie #1: I'm not sure what I'm doing here. *groan* But it would have been nice if they had at least invited me into the house.
Minion Zombie #1: But since they didn't, I'll just come in anyway and make myself at home. Oh! I love this romantic movie!
Minion Zombie #1: Still, it is kinda lonely watching a good movie all by myself. I wish I had someone I could rot with.
Give it just a minute. I think The Loneliest Zombie is about to get some company.
Minion Zombie #2: DERP! Oh, and uh, MOAN!
Minion Zombie #2: Alright. Let's see. Zombies are supposed to eat...brains? Guess I'll go find me some brains!
That might be kinda hard considering you have no feet to shuffle along on.
Minion Zombie #2: Crap! Where did those feet go? I know I pulled them out of the grave along with all my other parts.
And thus, the Loneliest Zombie remained Lonely. Does anyone know if a genius modder has created a zombie/vampire hunter type of mod where Geobe can actually go and kill these things? What good is a zombie apocalypse if things don't get lethal?
And then I got a popup that Sim!Elissa was flirting with Barbet Byrd. I'm thinking she wants to continue the tradition of picking out the worst genes ever to create her babies.
Tabitha: A couple more kills and I will have decimated your record, you old hag.
Cole: Say anything more and you'll be wearing my hot chocolate, Fleshbag.
Argus Brown: Vampire. I was planning to chase down and eat those horses. I'm not sure I want to share.
As a side note, Argus Brown has a thing for Tabitha. He keeps calling for dates even though she is happily married. Bad dog!
Beth: That's alright, Argie. I wasn't after the horses anyway. I'm chasing the Ice Cream Protection Vehicle. See ya!
Should we be worried that the vamp element is attempting to take over the Secret Service?
Good grief, Budgie. You're going to get fat if you keep eating deep fried ice cream, and then where will your career be?
Budgie: Another little one won't hurt.
Budgie: It just tastes so good, I can't resist.
Janna: Make way! Coming through in a hurry!
Janna: Please Chicken Sensei, allow me to get there in time!
Yes, that's right folks. Even though the house already has more sims than I keep up with, Janna and BJ rolled the want...
And being a sucker, I consented.
Janna: Hello little nooboo.
But why focus on the impending addition of another sim to take care of, when we can focus instead on hot dogs! I apologize in advance for the Seasons picspam.
Crane: Dad, when is this thing supposed to start? We've been standing here for five minutes already and I'm hungry.
BJ: Give it just another moment, baby. We have to wait for the fourth contestant.
The fourth contestant proved to be a pregnant Sim!Elissa. I have a theory...
Come on guys, even though you are eating fast, you can't forget to breathe!
And Elissa, the pregnant Elissa, is the winner!
Meanwhile, Budgie and Kermit decided to try out the skating rink.
Kermit: See? It isn't too bad, Budgie. You just have to learn to keep your balance.
Yeah, that went swimmingly.
Kermit: Ouch! My butt!
Budgie: Ow! My face!
The amount of joy sims get from this contraption makes me smile.
Crane: Watch out zombie gnome. I'm gonna smack you so hard it will collapse the point on your tiny red head!
But back to my theory...
Kermit: *gasping* How does she eat so fast?
Camilla: *panting* I have no idea. *pant* Maybe she isn't human?
Janna: Silly children. Never compete for food against a pregnant woman. You will always lose.
I've only done a couple of tests thus far, but I'm starting to think that the pregnant sim will always win the eating contest.
Tabitha: Go away, Garg. I want to mack on my husband!
OK then! Moving on!
Marvin Suggs: So all I have to do is drink this?
Crane: Yep. Camilla says it will give you bad gas.
Marvin: Hehe. Farts are funny. Down the hatch!
Marvin: How do I look?
Don't know yet. Let's try another angle.
Much better! Marvin Suggs is a hot-headed, brave, night owl. I suppose he will be avoiding bedtime to take his temper out on his muppaphone. I doubt he will look nearly as angelic when he's ticked off.
BJ: Dangit Kermit. I was going to use the deep fryer. Get out of the way, please.
Kermit: Not to worry, BJ. I'm almost done.
Kermit: See? All done.
Alba: Great! I've been itching for some deep fried goodness.
BJ: Now hang on just one minute! I was next in line, Dad.
Alba: Come on, son. Surely you wouldn't want to stand between an old man and one of his few joys in life. My clock is ticking after all. Never know when I'll keel over and then won't you feel guilty for standing in the way of my last corndog?
BJ: Fine. *grumble* Just hurry up about it. I'm hungry and nothing but fried bacon will do.
Budgie: Hey Dad! You almost finished with the deep frier? I really want some deep fried ice cream.
Alba: Sure am, sweetie. You might want to clean it before you use it, though. My arthritic fingers seem to have made a mess.
BJ: Now wait just one cotton pickin' minute! I'm next!
Budgie: Don't be absurd, BJ. Everyone knows that ladies go first.
Janna: In that case, I'm next! Not only am I woman, but I'm also pregnant. That trumps you all!
Kermit: Did BJ just scream?
Yes. Yes he did. I kinda regret getting these small food appliances. If their fascination doesn't end, they will get stuck in the family inventory. Though I must admit that I do want the oven that came with Monte Vista. They aren't selling it as an individual item yet, though. The chicken coop also isn't available for individual sale yet. Hurry up Eaxis! The Byrds NEED Chickens!
I thought that perhaps a wedding would be a good way to wean the family off of ice cream and deep fat fried goodness. Yeah, that proved to be a mistake.
I arrived on the scene intially to discover Sim!Rob...without his shoes.
Rob: Sorry for my inappropriate attire, Handler, but there is something wrong with my wife. And I ran down here to see if I could help.
Rob: She tried to eat the fake flowers in the wedding chapel. I don't know, maybe she thought they looked tasty, but now she's stuck in the floor. Help!
Sarah: *moan* Pink flowers....
Poor Sarah. I'll fix you. RESETSIM.
Alas, that was not the last thing to go wrong with this botched wedding attempt.
Janna: OW! Um, Randall, I think I might be going into labor.
Randall: What? You can't be going into labor now. We're at a wedding for Chicken's sake!
Janna: Sorry. The baby wants, what it wants. Can you find my husband and tell him to come to the hospital?
Kermit: Did you just hear Janna screaming?
Budgie: Don't be silly, Kermie. I just don't know how we will ever get through this throng of people to the wedding chapel. You look nice as a pirate though.
I did try to meet at least some of Kermit's wishes for his wedding, even if it turned out to be in vain.
Buzz: This wedding sucks! We've been here for hours and still no one has made it into the chapel. I came here to see vows exchanged. You should be ashamed of your incompetence, Handler.
Marvin: I wish he wouldn't yell so loud. He's hurting my ears.
Tabitha: Maybe Bittern can fix it?
Crane: Well, if I might offer a suggestion, I think...
Camilla: No! No suggestions! I hereby declare this wedding an epic failure! And just to ensure you get the point, I'm using my powers for evil to shut this thing down!
*CRASH TO DESKTOP*
Marvin Suggs: I had an odd dream. We were at a wedding and there were pirates and genies, and lots of shouting.
Crane: I'm not sure that was a dream, Marvin. I think that is what is called a dress rehearsal.
Marvin Suggs: Ah! I know about those. We used to have them on the Muppet Show. And they were usually just as chaotic.
And we will end with a picture of my handsome son, Monte. He's handsome even if he is one of the undead.
Monte: Awww, come on Mom. Put down the camera.
Why hasn't Geobe addressed this yet?
Monte: Simple. He can't catch me.
Will Geobe manage to save our son from the clutches of the Undead? We haven't seen any Pick Porkers in Moonlight Falls yet. Were they all destroyed in the collapse of Volcano Cove? Will Kermit and Budgie get married? Or are they doomed to stay apart due to Handler incompetence? And how long will it take for me get tired of Seasons? I have no idea, but feel free to join me next time when I might or might not answer these questions! Until then, Happy Simming!